The one place my husband is not allowed to go back to alone.

Happy LarryMedellin, Colombia has a notorious reputation. But it’s not the drugs that I’m afraid would lure my cute husband over to the dark side. It’s the women.

Sofia Vergara - another ordinary Colombia mujer.

Sofia Vergara – another ordinary Colombian mujer. (photo by fapjack)

Medellin is said to be home to the most beautiful women in Colombia (which is really saying something) and from what I’ve seen, that reputation is as well deserved as Pablo Escobar’s. Medellin girlsThe women of Medellin have glorious hair that’s a long, dark curtain of silk.

Even the schoolgirls are gorgeous.

Even the schoolgirls are gorgeous.

Their bodies are ridiculous, thanks to jaw-dropping genetics and a phalanx of plastic surgeons who live to fool Mother Nature.

I'd never seen a butt implant before...

Wow, I’d never seen a butt implant before…

Their clothing, shoes, and make-up are designed to show off every enviable attribute, and I’m pretty sure Medellin leads the world in spandex and stilettos per square inch of  bosoms and derrieres.

Even the art is sexy.

Even the art is sexy!

But it’s not all pretty girls on parade. Medellin is also home to Fernando Botero and his hilarious, poignant, overstuffed sculptures that fill the parks & city squares. horseback


lolling about

businessmanMedellin is also one of the flower-growing capitals of South America. flowersIt’s a fascinating place — but no way am I ever sending my husband back here solo.  Even if I have to take drastic measures.

Yeah, I can do that.

Yeah, I can do that.

(Sorry for the herky-jerky photos from my iPhone — I was being lazy and not doing my photographic duties!)

26 thoughts on “The one place my husband is not allowed to go back to alone.

    • Hey, I hear you sister!! I don’t really want to know what the implants are made of (yeeeccchhh!) but they must have to be substantially more sturdy that breast implants, right?? yikes!!!

  1. Betty, I don’t know your husband, but I’d guess that he’s much too smart, and too aware of how lucky he is.

    By the way, how many of Botero’s sculptures are there in the city? It looks like he has a monopoly.

    • Let’s hope you’re right about that, BB! (-: I’m not sure how many Botero sculptures are in Medellin, but this particular square had at least a dozen of them — and that was OUTSIDE the museum! He’s kind of a national hero, but particularly in Medellin. I loved seeing his original paintings because they are so much more expressive and impressive than the prints — and he’s very politically subversive as well. He did a lot of quite moving paintings on all the violence during the drug wars … as well as some jarring canvases & sculptures of the clergy (my favorite was a pile of chess-like pieces called “Dead Bishops”)!

  2. Betty, you are such a hoot!



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  3. Truetruetrue! I havent met an ugly Colombian woman, everyone is soo beautiful ! what genes! natural beautiful faces and hair that looks even fake!
    Oh Betty like you needed another excuse to travel…. 🙂
    (Congrats on Lulus graduation by the way, she is gorgeous!)

    • I’m glad as a Latin American woman you’re confirming this — but yes, it does mean I will have to travel everywhere with my husband (not to mention Brazil in the fall) — how did you know my plan?? THANKS for the kind words about Lulu — so proud of my girl!!!

  4. How great to see Botera sculptures in this post. We saw some of his work in la Jolla last fall and were smitten! The gallery was asking $50,000 for a small casting of a man on horseback. There was a painting of his selling for $250,000. The gallery owner told us that many of their customers were from China.

    • Oh, that makes me sad. Somehow I don’t think Boteros belong in China. I wasn’t that big of a fan until I saw his paintings in the Bogota National Museum (they’re really vibrant and really subversive!!) — but the sculptures just sent me over the moon. They are really oddly hilarious — with so much attitude, and yet so accessible that people love to climb on them, pose with them and mimic them — and the hand is exquisite!!!

  5. I wonder why genetics evolved so that the women are so super beautiful today? What does it say about the physique and gogetum of their men?

  6. being one that just turned 60 and entered “geezerhood” I resemblethat remark.
    Funny thing is I did not notice the that your iPhine was shaking. I was distracted.
    Tell your husband I am on the 7 pm flight to Columbia and will find a nice place to read a long book until he shows up. Dont hurry I wll find something to do

    • Yeah, my husband was walking into walls a bit down there, too, so I get the distraction factor! I’ll let him know that you’re waiting for him in Medellin … and am so glad he’s got Moral Support for that transition into happy geezerdom!!

  7. So funny!! Love the sculptures! Medillin, Columbia! I never had that thick gorgeous hair!! Of course it is my one true envy of other women!!

  8. Lo e the post!!! Are you kidding me about the butt implants! Now that is outrageous! I have heard that Brazil also has a lot of plastic surgery. I find it sad that women can’t be naturally beautiful!

  9. Haha, this post made me laugh. I do think plastic surgery has a lot to do with it! I lived in Medellin for a summer and while the women are beautiful, I think a great deal of them have a little artificial help!

    • You are so right about that!! (My hosts from Colombia verified that — and while my husband remained blissfully naive as to their natural beauty, a LOT of those women were “enhanced” — big time! That must have been fascinating to live in Medellin for a whole summer!!!

    • Oh,Nancy — but when you see them in person, they are SO cool!!! Plus his political paintings are very subversive and fascinating — “The Dead Bishops” just blew my mind!!

  10. Love the first tag…Butt Implants. That wasn’t real, right??
    I think my husband would believe he died and went to heaven there. I wouldn’t show him this post but he gets it directly. Thanks.

    • Oh YES the butt implant thing is serious. Having my own natural “stickie-outy” I couldn’t imagine anybody wanting more on the backside, but it’s a BIG tradition in Colombia — so I was really excited when I finally saw hard evidence of it. That’s why the picture looks so shaky — I was sticking my phone out the car window and saying — hey lookie, there’s one!!!

  11. I don’t blame you for not wanting him to return alone. Just let me know if he plans to go back and I will be happy to accompany him. Anything for you Betty.

    • He’s seriously considering it for his 60th … (i know you remember the drama of his 50th tequila b-day) … and I almost think it would make for an epic transition into geezer-hood. So stay tuned — and thanks for being such a good friend! (Those CIA dudes would have nothing on the Swat Soccer Team, I’m sure! )

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