Stewie

Okay, so this is going to be a bit of a confessional. The reason I say that I don’t like animals all that much is that they tend to perish when they’re around me, which makes me feel terribly guilty and not at all like the nurturing, loving person I delude myself that I am.

The late, great Eliot

Case in point: the two cats that my boyfriend Eddie Pizzuti & I owned? Died of leukemia after eating garbage outside, which was really stupid of them since Eddie was a chef and made them exquisite liver dishes all the time. Then my darling friend Kate Martin left me cat-sitting for her two cats and I came over one day to find Mr. Eliot paws-up on the basement stairs. I was completely traumatized until she got home and told me that the cat was about 3,000 years old in cat time and they’d been expecting him to die any minute. Good to know, Kath.

And of course, I’ve killed more fish than Captain Ahab, but that hardly counts since they are virtually indistinguishable from one another and seem to have a lifespan of 3 weeks anyhow. (And how weird is it that PetSmart allows you to bring them back dead within two weeks for a full refund? That’s confidence inspiring.)

Kate & Maura

As long as I’m being honest, I’m also a pretty lame godmother, which is shameful since I was blessed with the most fabulous godmother ever, Mrs. Edythe Mendolia. Sadly, I did not follow in her fairy godmother footsteps and I have not lavished my goddaughters with presents, letters, attention and love – even though they are incredible, gorgeous girls. And one of them, Maura Klugman (Kate’s daughter) has a birthday today! So I’m going to be donating $100 to her favorite cause, which is, ironically, Anjellicle Cat Rescue http://anjelliclecats.com… perhaps due to the untimely death of her cat whilst under my care? Perish the thought!!

Gomez

Maura loves Anjellicle and every minute she’s not working like a maniac as a high-powered lawyer in NYC, she’s fostering felines (including the debonair Stewie & gorgeous Gomez), writing wonderful copy to try to get them adopted, and keeping them as far away from me as she can. She’s a beautiful, kind, and brilliant girl – and if she’s convinced that Stewie and Gomez are the key to your happiness, who are you to argue?

My Lulu & Domino--still living!

Anjellicle Cats is a no-kill, all-volunteer, not-for-profit organization that is based in Hell’s Kitchen and for ten years has been aiding the homeless cat community of New York. It’s a bit hit with the Broadway community and there’s even a “cat room” at Spoiled Brats, 340 W. 49th Street, where you can go and find the cat of your dreams. And Anjellicle makes sure all the cats are tested for feline leukemia and FIV, vaccinated, microchipped and spayed/neutered — so when you adopt an Anjellicle Cat, you’ll be entering into a long, happy relationship. I just hope my cat, Domino, doesn’t try to get himself on their list. Happy B-day, Maura — we’re so proud of you!