Navel-gazing & other bad habits.

(Photo by Dreamstime)

I’m inert. And that’s not a good feeling, despite the fact that I love the definition of inertia: the tendency of an object in motion to remain in motion, or an object at rest to remain at rest. Technically, I guess that means I was inert last year during my 365 days of giving, too — it’s just that now I’m no longer on the “motion” side of the equation. And it’s making me restless.

I can’t find the rhythm in my days. I can’t seem to make myself write about the stuff I am excited about (the Unreasonable Institute’s new crop of amazing social entrepreneurs, for instance) and when I do try to write, it comes out sounding forced or stupid. I’m wasting gobs of brain cells worrying about my daughter’s truly frightening addiction to crap TV and obsessing about whether she’s going to transfer colleges in the fall. My husband has sagely suggested I lay off Lulu and worry about my own life, but why spend time thinking about yourself when you can project all your hopes & fears onto those unlucky enough to share your domicile??

Oddly, I know the answer to all this murky confusion: Get outside your own head; stop worrying about things you can’t control and start doing stuff for others; stay open; and trust that what you’re meant to do will be revealed in time. I just can’t seem to apply that quiet wisdom. Yet.

But writing helps…even this extended whine. More chipper posts soon to come!

7 thoughts on “Navel-gazing & other bad habits.

  1. J’adore the baby picture Betty.
    A thought: I wonder whether Ms Lulu would be able to stop watching TV and notice that her dear Mama needs help. I have a feeling she’d be full of ideas for you.

    • I think Lulu’s advice would probably be, “Get a life, Mom.” But maybe I’m not giving her enough creative credit … in any event, getting out of her hair by going and doing all the things I love to do (like traveling) is a definite plus and makes both of us happy. As another one of my friends says — mothers and daughters just aren’t meant to live under the same roof after the age of 18 (and probably before). But breaking up is hard to do! Thanks Miss Rosie!!

  2. Navel-gazing! I love it!
    I’m still dying to meet you & am so jealous that my mom got to. We have talked about your blog so many times and still do. We think you are spectacular. Big love. CY

  3. Uh oh. Sounds like you need a project! How about coffee while you think about it? One morning before the month ends?


  4. My initial response to Betty/inertia?
    A snort. I know you are as still as a hummingbird.
    Honestly, I do feel your pain, though
    Larry is right. xoxo

    • Yeah, as per usual — Larry IS right. And Judy is right, too. I do need a new project. I need to work — but the problem is, I don’t want to just do any work (well, maybe if the money is right). I really want to do something as meaningful to me as last year’s project was … and that’s hard to find (and hard to keep up). So — I’m working on it. It’s just unsettling to have so much time on my hands, and as my mom used to say: “The devil makes work for idle hands.” I just wish my life were that wildly wicked!

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