Last Wednesday, Cathy Cruz Marrero was so busy texting that she walked directly into a fountain and fell into a “frightening” 1 foot of water. She immediately hauled herself out and walked hurriedly away, relieved that nobody was around to see her boneheaded move. But as luck would have it, an enterprising mall security guy used his cellphone to video the security film of Marrero’s “serious fall,” as George hysterically put it, posted it on youtube, and the rest is legal history.
Now Marrero – whose first and correct inclination was to avoid attention — has lawyered up and is claiming that her feelings have been severely injured, that mall security should have come to her rescue (watch the video; if they had been stationed at the fountain they wouldn’t have been able to assist her, as she was in and out in a matter of three seconds); and that whoever videoed the video should be fired, or fined, or maybe horsewhipped. And her lawyer, who is “at the early stages of this investigation,” is demanding an apology (and probably a hefty settlement).
Seriously?? Nobody knew who this goofball was, even after the youtube went viral, until she bravely decided to “fight back” against people laughing at her. As somebody who falls down a lot (for instance, I fell out of my own closet this morning when I slipped on a paper bag, and my husband totally cracked up), I know falling may not be fun, but it is funny. Pretty much always. We’re mean humans and somebody falling down makes us laugh.
Now here’s somebody who knows how to fall gracefully — and make you laugh with her:
Cathy, take a lesson here and go away. Before we have to see more of Stephanopoulos asking what we can all learn from this harrowing incident and leaving us with this profound warning: Don’t text and walk. Wow, George — great reporting, dude! Can’t wait for the trial coverage!