Oh, get over yourself!

George Stephanopoulos should get an Oscar for keeping a straight face through this interview!

Last Wednesday, Cathy Cruz Marrero was so busy texting that she walked directly into a fountain and fell into a “frightening” 1 foot of water. She immediately hauled herself out and walked hurriedly away, relieved that nobody was around to see her boneheaded move. But as luck would have it, an enterprising mall security guy used his cellphone to video the security film of Marrero’s “serious fall,” as George hysterically put it, posted it on youtube, and the rest is legal history.

Now Marrero – whose first and correct inclination was to avoid attention — has lawyered up and is claiming that her feelings have been severely injured, that mall security should have come to her rescue (watch the video; if they had been stationed at the fountain they wouldn’t have been able to assist her, as she was in and out in a matter of three seconds); and that whoever videoed the video should be fired, or fined, or maybe horsewhipped. And her lawyer, who is “at the early stages of this investigation,” is demanding an apology (and probably a hefty settlement).

Seriously?? Nobody knew who this goofball was, even after the youtube went viral, until she bravely decided to “fight back” against people laughing at her.  As somebody who falls down a lot (for instance, I fell out of my own closet this morning when I slipped on a paper bag, and my husband totally cracked up), I know falling may not be fun, but it is funny. Pretty much always. We’re mean humans and somebody falling down makes us laugh.

Now here’s somebody who knows how to fall gracefully — and make you laugh with her:

Cathy, take a lesson here and go away. Before we have to see more of Stephanopoulos asking what we can all learn from this harrowing incident and leaving us with this profound warning: Don’t text and walk. Wow, George — great reporting, dude! Can’t wait for the trial coverage!

20 thoughts on “Oh, get over yourself!

  1. I’m trying to catch up on the week’s reading (which can be stressful), and want to thank you for the good laugh Betty. I came home from work feeling grumpy and now I can’t stop laughing. Heh heh
    I agree that people should be sued for opening stupid lawsuits.

  2. Is there any chance that your husband might have videotaped you slipping on the paper bag? Because I think we need to start holding these paper bag companies accountable. Have the bags ever been tested for traction or stability? Not to mention the possibility of paper cuts. They’re a menace to society and somebody has to do something before one of us is seriously injured or killed. So please, Betty, if there is a video of you falling out of the closet, include it in your next post. It’s the responsible thing to do. (And also, we canceled our cable TV last month, so there’s nothing to watch.) (In return, I’m sure there’s plenty of mall video of me slamming into the “automatic” doors that never seem to open unless I stop dead and wave my arms around like a fool. We could trade.)

    • Believe me, if Larry had a camera he would have been capturing every graceful moment. But before we go suing the paper bag manufacturers (great idea!!) , I think the Garnet Hill boiled wool clogs I was wearing were more at fault — they’re slick as snot on my wood floors and I routinely fall UP the stairs in them, so I have no idea why I continue to wear them — Anyhow, I was racing out of the closet and I stepped onto an incriminating DSW bag (Designer Shoe Warehouse — to which i am unfortunately addicted) and my one leg shot out from under me, as if on ice, and I ended up sprawled out about six feet from my husband who was reading. It was such a ridiculous move, I just lay there hysterically laughing while he shook his head and told me he was looking into a retirement home for me.
      As for your videos of slamming into automatic doors — you have to go to the Philadelphia airport — they now have automatic doors that TELL you “Keep walking. The doors will open.” — only to lure you into walking directly into the glass! What’s up with that?? Why is the City of Brotherly Love trying to humiliate visitors before they can even get to the parking lot?? It’s a mystery, Charles — and one that we are clearly not going to solve! Thanks for writing!!!

  3. I hope you keep writing about absurdities like this one…and anything else that comes up on your radar. I’m so pumped when I see a posting!

  4. Right on Betty! I agree, people should be sued and/or fined for stupid lawsuits and the idiot lawyers who fuel these types of “court time wasters!” Thanks so much for still giving us some good news to chew on! Wishing you a wonderful week and hugs to you from SoCal!

  5. Not to mention a class action suit by all reasonable people against the lawyers who encourage this ludicrous retribution and waste the court’s time.

    • Oh yeah — I think it’s time for serious consequences for this kind of legal encouragement to be stupid AND greedy. (Don’t you love it when she tremors, “And nobody … nobody… came to my aid!” Like she was buried under rubble. Nobody came to her “aid” because a) there was nobody in that mall — luckily for her, since she was face-planting herself in the water; a b) she was in and out of that water so fast, she didn’t need any help — a towel maybe, but not a life preserver; and c) she complains that there was nothing to hold on to ..and nothing to help her up…. ahhhh, could that be because it was a FOUNTAIN and not designed for people to walk/fall in?? I have no idea why this galls me so much, but it just drives me crazy that she could sue, and then — that she’d be on every news channel as if this were a viable story. But .. maybe they were just looking for any excuse to show the hilarious video & not seem mean.

  6. I couldn’t agree more… I watched the first video, and yes, laughed w/ empathy as it EASILY could have been me. However, when I saw her on GMA this a.m. , I thought you have got to be kidding me… a lawyer ????? Way to stay out of the spotlight!

  7. Was Cathy really texting as she walked along? that’s too good.
    I’m totally sure that Cathy damaged the Mall’s fountain and the Mall should be suing her…..
    But I really wanted to tell you that I like your writing style, Betty!

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